do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
