You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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