He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
