Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
