I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
