I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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