is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
