Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I would fuck him just for his dog
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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