wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
