so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ketchup is God's man juice
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
