girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
