I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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