I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
