I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
