when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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