remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
