Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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