"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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