We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
