How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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