I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
