it wasn't lemon gatorade
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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