i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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