As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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