The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
