If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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