Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
