I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
