he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
