There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
