Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i think i have two assholes
my sisters under your porch take her home
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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