I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
