I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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