we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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