Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
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Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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