you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
