was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
