Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
