So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
