Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
