How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
