I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
