I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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