It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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