Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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