I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
