that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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