could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
