planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
