He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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