you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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