All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
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