hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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