in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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