i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
