Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
