he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
