Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
