Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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