Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
