She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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