dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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