hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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