Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she smelled like a LAN party
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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