In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
