so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Houston, we have a blender
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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