she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
