Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
