do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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