I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
